These last months my Little One has been struggling with teeth. She seems to be of the like that struggles with this…no teeth yet. In the midst of this frustration of not being able to do much for her I found myself regularly daydreaming of the things I would have been doing if she was not part of our lives…

Without baby, with hubby:

  1. Go for a moderate amount of spa treatments.
  2. Have endless lazy days of series-watching and carb-consumption.
  3. Window shop for an essential until we found the perfect, priced-right item.
  4. Discussed goals, dreams and projects to tackle at length.
  5. Make love.

With baby and hubby:

  1. Not make love.
  2. Discussion mostly circle around what to buy her next or how to handle a particular “outburst”.
  3. Window shopping has become online browsing…if I can’t find it online, it doesn’t exist.

    …but also…

  4. I get to hold this little body against my body every day. She smiles. She cries. She chats up a storm and she concentrates so hard when she’s trying to master something. She loves eating. She loves loving. She loves reaching out to faces to touch them and loves giving kisses and hugs…she also loves to be loved and hates to be frustrated.
  5. I get to watch hubby with her. How much she loves her Dad. Oh my word, the smiles and the gurgles and the chats they have. The games hubby plays with her that make her squeal with excitement (even close to bed time HAHAHAHA) and the way she reaches out to touch him and then place her head against his.
  6. She loves to love. I love to watch her love and love to feel her loving me. She is pure, simple, uncomplicated. I guess I envy that.

I cannot see that I would ever not want to experience everything about her. As she grows many new things happen. Every new thing is awesome. Not nice or good, but awesome. She goes about her little ways and pushes to the next level, working hard. Every milestone she reaches makes me proud because I know how hard she works towards them. It even inspires me to work towards my goals.

Yes, life may be a little more complicated and a lot harder than it was before her. Despite this there is no way I want my life before either hubby or her back. Both of them enrich my life in more ways than I ever thought possible.

Jaco, Kira, I love you Guys!

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