We are a new unit. We got married and that was the start of our brand new family. Then she came along and pretty soon we will start working on a sibling for her. We are our own unit now. Sharing my life with another grown-up was a learning curve, but we managed to create a very safe and satisfying space for both of us to come home to after a hard day’s work.
Recently we committed to exercising every evening. The first 6 weeks were awesome. I felt stronger, happier, clearer than ever. It gradually became more difficult and I am sitting at my keyboard this morning with a very real need to admit that I don’t look forward to going home anymore. Please bare with me if this seems a little melodramatic. It used to be my place of rest, the place where we played and laughed and rested. Now I find myself getting really edgy when it starts to get close to home time. In a couple of hours I will be in pain and frankly I’m not looking forward to it anymore.
Sometimes family sucks. Sometimes you need to admit that you are in fact not strong enough and just press down that competitive little bitch in the back of your head, judging you like you failed at life. If you want family to stop sucking, you need to give them the opportunity to help you. No you are not weak, no you didn’t fail. You actually pushed yourself and found your limit. Very few people ever push hard enough to see that edge.
I’m not looking forward to this afternoon. I will have to admit to my other half that I cannot keep this up. I already know that he will be super supportive and we will put a plan in action that will help me recover without losing the ground we’ve won these last 9 weeks. In no time I will be able to laugh again and just enjoy their company. Family will stop sucking.