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I see you

"Last night Jaco and Kira were playing around again and for the slightest of moments I got to just look at him and everything in me wanted to freeze time. I love him so much. I care for him even more now than I thought was possible for another human. I understood this feeling towards... Continue Reading →

On the bad days

I'll just get right to it: Last night I prayed that our night will be calm (for all 4 of us). I also prayed that Kira will wake up in a good mood and Luca will sleep. I prayed that Jaco will get to REST and be ready for the week. I somehow left myself... Continue Reading →

Becoming us

I'm sorry if this is very heavy. I needed to write this down. In future our kids or their kids will have the ability to pin an emotion to a post. Right now I just have to hope I have the words to try and explain this. I was in the car on the way... Continue Reading →

You’re not ready

A LOT of things have been rushing through my head. I have been re-reading my blogs, letters I wrote to Kira, I wrote new ones to her, I have been wanting to blog so much of what I'm thinking. Today my cup is running over and I need to pin this down. The banner on... Continue Reading →

Life is short

I turned 40 this year. Our little girl is almost 2 years old. I'm expecting our second little miracle. For much of the first part of our marriage I was aching and cramping and crying away the days for a little person of our own. Some months the pain was overwhelming. On many others it... Continue Reading →

There’s tired…

...then there's Mom-tired, and then there's pregnant-Mom-tired. I don't want to sub-divide any further. We can have endless debates about working pregnant moms, working pregnant moms raising toddlers, working pregnant moms raising difficult toddler daughters...we can literally go on for days. I believe each of us get blessed with what we can handle. So if... Continue Reading →

Family sucks sometimes

We are a new unit. We got married and that was the start of our brand new family. Then she came along and pretty soon we will start working on a sibling for her. We are our own unit now. Sharing my life with another grown-up was a learning curve, but we managed to create... Continue Reading →

No holds barred

I knew it would be hard having a little one. I even added some statistical hardness in my head for the fact that we are around 40. In my childless head, it seamed like a lot of "HARD" but I bargained on it being easier because of the love you have for said little body.... Continue Reading →

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