Category: Life lessons

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I’m done faking it

Nothing in me has the energy left to fake being okay. Until now I have not let myself let my hair down ANYWHERE or in front of ANYONE. You know what that did? I have randomly over the last month sent emails I regret, made social posts I wish I could take back and admitted defeat to my husband. All of the above have … Read More I’m done faking it

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Stages of becoming whole

Thinking back over my few years in life, I’ve never felt more whole than when I was about five or six. I felt my most alive or most validated at around eleven or twelve. This already was a sign that I was forming an idea of who I was and what I am capable of based on feedback from people around me. I knew … Read More Stages of becoming whole

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What if she’s right and I’m not?

There have been many times in lockdown I have thought about this. Every time I wanted to write about it, but either the time was naught or the words escaped me. I’m not even sure I’ll be able to properly word it today, but that won’t stop me now. The isolation has provided me with much time to listen to audio books and do … Read More What if she’s right and I’m not?

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When your purpose shifts

In Western culture we have this idea that there is a fixed path to life: you’re born, you finish school, you should preferably complete a qualification, get a job and build a career, get married, have children, retire, move to a care unit and die. Sorry, that was morbid. Sometimes we realise how silly this is and we say that we can do this … Read More When your purpose shifts

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You’re stronger than you think

Sometimes the best you can do is not what you think it is. It isn’t just an 85kg deadlift. It isn’t just staying up most of the night with two of your tiny offspring. For the last few days God has been telling me again how He knows I am stronger than I think I am. He’s told me this before, also at a … Read More You’re stronger than you think

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On the bad days

I’ll just get right to it: Last night I prayed that our night will be calm (for all 4 of us). I also prayed that Kira will wake up in a good mood and Luca will sleep. I prayed that Jaco will get to REST and be ready for the week. I somehow left myself out. Kira did wake up well. Luca…kind of slept … Read More On the bad days

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Life is short

I turned 40 this year. Our little girl is almost 2 years old. I’m expecting our second little miracle. For much of the first part of our marriage I was aching and cramping and crying away the days for a little person of our own. Some months the pain was overwhelming. On many others it was a distant wish I succeeded in tempering with … Read More Life is short